Christian Weddings The Episcopal Church affirms that "marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God." (Book of Common Prayer, p. 423). An Episcopal wedding is a Christian sacrament in which a woman and man, through faith in Jesus Christ, enter into a life-long union. They make vows before God and the Church, and receive the grace and blessing of God to help them fulfill their vows. Like baptism and other sacraments, Christian weddings are considered part of the life of the Christian community rather than merely private family celebrations. Thus, for active church members, it is wonderfully appropriate to celebrate and bless a wedding within the community of worship in which the couple are living out their Christian lives. Service and Vows An Episcopal wedding is a Christian worship service. The service and vows at St Mark's are those provided in the Book of Common Prayer (1979), including the directions found on pages 422 and 437. It normally includes Holy Communion. There are places for family and friends to read Scripture and offer prayers. Click here to read the service. Christian Marriage Preparation Marriage is one of the more complicated and important relationships in anyone's life, and requires careful consideration and preparation. The future happiness of the couple, their children, their parents and their friends are all affected by this complex new relationship. We encourage any couple to read lots of books about marriage and engagement from the library and bookstore. We encourage them to go see a professional psychologist together to discuss their family history, family dynamics, and future. In any case, persons who desire to have their wedding ceremony conducted by the clergy of St Marks must undertake and complete a course of Marriage Preparation, which typically takes at least 6 months. At least one of the couple is a baptized Christian, and the centrality of Christian discipleship in marriage is included in the Marriage Preparation sessions. As a significant part of their Marriage Preparation, the couple will attend weekly worship at least twice a month during those 6 months. Our clergy will engage couples in answering questions they might not yet have considered. We encourage conversations best had before marriage. We explore personality and other factors that help you figure out how to make the love you already have last a life time. Because we will help you determine if you are ready for marriage or if you need more time of preparation before proceeding, we cannot guarantee that beginning the Marriage Preparation course will culminate in a wedding. The approach each clergy person uses may differ. Contact directly the clergy person with whom you want to undertake Marriage Preparation for further detail. With the approval of the officiating clergy, a major part of the couple's Marriage Preparation could be accomplished by taking an appropriate course Marriage Preparation at a college or another church, or by sessions conducted by a licensed pastoral counselor, after which the couple would present a document attesting to successful completion of the marriage preparation. Scheduling a Wedding Be sure to talk with the clergy about Marriage Preparation and the church calendar before setting a firm date. Weddings will be put on the church calendar only after the Marriage Preparation sessions have begun. Weddings are never scheduled during Lent, Holy Week, or Christmas week. Weddings must be scheduled at least 30 days prior to the ceremony. License We cannot legally conduct a wedding ceremony without the presence of the wedding license. To avoid an embarrassing delay, we require the couple to present their license at the rehearsal. The rehearsal will not proceed unless the license is present. Divorce and remarriage Divorced people may be remarried in the Episcopal Church, but approval must be received from the Bishop of Maryland before the wedding can proceed. This is intended to help you in your relationship together, by helping to ensure that your new marriage will be secure and lasting. The process requires additional time, and requires copies of the final divorce decree. When there has been a divorce, the wedding will not be scheduled until after we have heard back from the Bishop, in writing. Please do not set the date until then. Size of the Wedding St Marks can hold up to 200 people for a wedding ceremony, and up to 100 in the fellowship hall for a reception. For larger weddings, the clergy are happy to officiate, but another location must be sought. Music Appropriate music, including congregational hymns, is always fitting but never required for worship services -- including weddings. All music, including soloists or ensembles, is to be coordinated with the St Mark's parish organist. If you have any questions about what is appropriate, please ask either the priest or the parish organist. Flowers and Decorations Flower arrangements may be made by you with St Mark's florist, or through a florist of your choice. Containers for Altar flowers need to come from the florist. Decorations may not be nailed, taped or fastened in a way whereby the pews would be damaged. We recommend the use of pipecleaners or fabric bows as a way to keep decorations in place. Our Wedding Coordinator has final authority. Altar flowers will remain for Sunday's worship. Receptions Note: Because our kitchen does not meet current codes for a professional kitchen, food may be neither prepared nor stored at St Marks. Food may be catered in. Remember that a certificate of liability insurance must be secured if a catering service is used. Our parish hall is not adequate for large receptions. A smaller reception, seating up to 100 people, could be held in our parish hall, unless space for dancing were desired. If a larger reception or space for dancing is desired, it would be wise to book a larger space. The Wedding Sermon from Ride the High Country, 1962 Directed by Sam Peckinpah Screenplay by N.B. Stone Jr.with Robert Creighton Williams and Sam Peckinpah Judge Tolliver, played by Edgar Buchanan Judge Tolliver, somewhat taken with drink, reads the wedding service. Faces a wide-eyed apprehensive Elsa, a bleary-eyed Billy. Kate stands behind Elsa. Behind the couple are Billy's four brothers. Almost everyone is crying. JUDGE TOLLIVER: We are gathered here in the high mountains, and in the presence of this august company, to join together this man and this woman in matrimony... Now matrimony is an honorable estate, instituted, blessed, and commended and commented on by almost everybody. (then to Billy and Elsa -- gently, simply) I am not a man of the Cloth, and this is not a religious ceremony. It is a Civil marriage. But nonetheless, it should not be entered into unadvisedly, but reverently and soberly... You know, a good marriage has a kind of simple glory about it. A good marriage is a rare animal, hard to find -- almost impossible to keep... (stumbling, remembering) I don't know -- you see... Well, people change. It's important for you to know at the beginning that people change. You see, the real glory of marriage don't come at the beginning. It comes later and it's hard work. Prohibitions Disruption by photographers, videographers, and electronic devices Photography and videos may be freely made before and after the ceremony. Photographers may not move into the aisles, nor in any other way disrupt the ceremony. Under no circumstances will flash cameras, video photography, or other electronic devices (including cell phones and beepers) be permitted during the ceremony. Rice, bird seed, and confetti No rice, bird seed, or confetti may be thrown on church property. Inappropriate behaviors A wedding is a sacramental worship service. Inappropriate behaviors are prohibited on church property, including but not limited to the possession of weapons of any sort, abusive language, tobacco products, illegal drugs and intoxication. Fees (Separate checks should be paid before the rehearsal): 1. Use of the Church (rehearsal and service): Pledging Communicants - No fee (a thanksgiving offering to the parish is appropriate) Others - $400 2. Organist: The parish organist plays at weddings - $200 If parish organist is not available, you will make your own arrangements for music 3. Clergy: Pledging Communicants - No fee (a thanksgiving offering to the Discretionary Fund is appropriate) Others - $400 (includes the Marriage Preparation sessions) 4. Sexton: Pledging Communicants - No fee (a thanksgiving offering to the parish is appropriate) Others - $100 5. Wedding Coordinator: Pledging Communicants - No fee (a thanksgiving offering to the parish is appropriate) Others - $100 6. Wedding Folders: You may order through a professional printer You may ask us to prepare and provide wedding folders - $200 7. Parish hall for a catered reception (You provide the caterer: No cooking on the premises): Pledging Communicants - No fee (thanksgiving offerings may be made) Others - $400 8. Florist: Please see discuss your needs and desires with a professional florist. It is appropriate to use some of the floral arrangements for the altar for Sunday's worship.